The longer it’s been since we’ve seen them or heard their voice. Or maybe it’s because the more time passes, the longer we’ve had to live without that person. Perhaps because of expectation – expecting to feel better and then feeling even more disappointed and sad when they didn’t. Some people have told me that the second year was actually more of a challenge. And the griever may find themselves thinking, “this isn’t any easier”. The second wedding anniversary without a spouse. But the assumption for most is that as long as they can get through that, it should be smoother sailing in the days ahead. Navigating that first year, through anniversaries, birthdays and holidays can feel endless. I’ve said it many times: nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can prepare us for the finality of death. This can be especially true for a sudden loss, but can surprise people when they are in “shock” even after a loved one has died following a long and drawn out illness. The loss is so new, the first months can be spent in a blur of shock and disbelief. There is a pretty well-accepted theory on grieving that the first year is the hardest.
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